Turning Your Hectic Holiday Season into a Happy Holiday Season
Thanksgiving has come and gone. Many of us may have just finished the last leftover turkey sandwich and finally cleaned up all the last few dishes piled up from family dinner. Maybe you stayed up until the sunrise on Black Friday and finished all your Christmas shopping, or maybe you’re like me and still trying to figure out what to buy for your loved ones (we still have three weeks right?!).
Even with the Thanksgiving holiday still visible in our rearview mirror, it is surprisingly easy to get swept up into the hustle and bustle and hurries and flurries of the holiday season. There are so many decisions and errands and plans to be made when we have to decide between red or green lights for the tree; hot chocolate or egg nog; Aunt May or Uncle Bob’s house for hosting; or selecting the right Christmas movie between Frosty the Snowman or Die Hard. It is easy to forget to pause and be thankful when the holidays overwhelm us.
Being overwhelmed is a cyclical feeling. This is because oftentimes we do not handle being overwhelmed in helpful ways.
Some of us may procrastinate when we are overwhelmed. We choose to ignore the internal worry and act as if we have nothing to get done, only to be more stressed and worried on December 23rd when Walmart, Target, and Meijer are all out of that one perfect gift.
Some of us may busy ourselves with a million little projects that are tangential to the real tasks. We end up making more work for ourselves than was actually necessary to accomplish what needs to be done. We hand-tie every bow and calligraphy Santa’s name onto the gift tags, but forget that oftentimes these end up discarded and forgotten when the kids find the Hot Wheels track and American Girl doll inside the wrapping.
These responses are fueled by our thinking. Our thinking is fueled by deeply held beliefs we have about the way the world works, which may not even be apparent to us at first glance. Look through this list of beliefs you may wrestle with during the holidays and consider how some of these may play a part in how you feel and act in this season.
I am unable to complete or accomplish this
I never have enough time
I shouldn’t enjoy this season
I cannot ever offer enough
The holiday won’t be great if one thing is wrong
No one else can do this as well as me
No one else will do it if I don’t
Everything is out of my control
Thankfulness, like the Thanksgiving season trains us, is a helpful trick to combat the cycle of overwhelming feelings. Through practicing thankfulness we ground ourselves in gratitude, which works in opposition to anxiousness. Thankfulness challenges the core beliefs that cause us to feel overwhelmed by the holidays and allows us to more freely enjoy the holly jolly season.
To practice thankfulness during the holidays, try out this exercise below!
In a journal or in your head consider these questions:
Do you feel overwhelmed by the holidays?
What specifically feels overwhelming to you?
What would be so bad if that specific thing happens/does not happen?
With those thoughts in mind, let’s try to challenge the dread with gratitude. Come up with three categories of your life that you can look to for things to be grateful for. This could be Family, Friends, Career, the World, Self, Hobbies, Faith/Spirituality, or anything else you can think of.
Once or twice per week list out about 10-20 things that you are grateful for in each category (it’s okay if it is difficult at first, it will get easier the more you practice).
Around Christmas or New Years or another benchmark you prefer, reflect in your journal and/or with your counselor on how practicing thankfulness helped you this holiday season.
Sam Hodge CT