When Hakuna Matata Doesn't Mean No Worries

Hakuna Matata. 

Que sera, sera. 

Do no harm. 

Carpe Diem. 

Go for the gold. 

Keep swinging. 

Our life mottos can drive our lives. Many people have a philosophy by which they live -- just check out the list of a few above. How often have you heard these repeated in the face of any number of circumstances? These personal beliefs inform the way we respond to challenges, feats, and everything in between because they are statements of how we deeply believe the world works. Things didn’t work out with that crush? Que sera, sera. You have a big idea for a new business venture? Carpe Diem. You have yet to receive that perfect job offer? Keep swinging. It’s the weekend? Hakuna Matata. These beliefs allow us to move from circumstance to circumstance with ease and resilience.

But what happens when Hakuna Matata doesn’t make it feel like there are no worries? What about when these personal philosophies break down? What happens when our beliefs about how the world works don’t match our circumstances? We are left feeling disoriented and lost in the world and our emotions. 

For people of faith, these crisis moments can strike when their beliefs don’t quite line up as well as we thought they always would with their circumstances. Examples come to mind like these: God is good, but my family member just passed away from cancer. I am free from sin, but I keep on gambling or drinking. The Holy Spirit is in me, but I feel empty, hollow, and worthless. 

If you find yourself or have ever found yourself in one of these crisis-of-belief situations, you know how scary and sometimes shameful it can feel. You’re questioning some deep stuff. So what are we to do with these disjointed beliefs and circumstances?

Dr. Virginia Todd Holeman is a licensed professional counselor and marriage and family therapist in Kentucky and has been a professor of counseling at Asbury Theological Seminary for over 25 years. Dr. Holeman discusses a tool called the “4A’s” that is useful for counselors helping clients through these tumultuous times, and I think they could be helpful for many of us too. Let’s check them out:

1. Attending to Theological Echoes

The first step in the method is to increase your awareness of your true spiritual beliefs. Take an inventory of what you believe. Ask yourself what you believe about God, faith, church, sin, and any other spiritual topic that comes to mind. These theological ideas echo in the background of your life. Simply increase your own understanding more and more of what you truly believe.

2. Addressing Salient Theological Themes

In this step, you will address the beliefs you’re becoming more aware of in your life. Bring the ideas you have to trustworthy people in your life. Jot down questions you have about these beliefs, things you’d like to dig deeper into, and reasons why you believe those beliefs are true. Weigh the beliefs against authoritative sources and evidence in your life such as scripture, your place of worship, trusted peers, books, etc. 

3. Aligning Areas of Life to Be More Theologically Congruent

You might begin to notice some of your beliefs and your circumstances or behaviors don’t quite match one another. The question then becomes whether you will dig deeper into your theology to uncover meaning you did not previously see; or if you will change your thoughts and behaviors to align with these beliefs? The hope is to bring your beliefs, your thoughts, and your behaviors all into line with each other. In this stage (as well as the previous two) it can be helpful to have someone listening to you process and offering feedback.

4. Attaining a Deepening Spiritual Character

Hopefully through this work, you come to a more well-rounded, consistent, and congruent belief system that actually works with how you think, behave, and live in your life. Through this new congruence, you will attain the ability to live freer, more resilient faith-centered lives with increasing depth, color, and maturity. 

I hope this tool gives you a framework to tackle the moments where your core beliefs and your life struggle to make sense together. Keep wrestling, keep questioning, and keep going deeper. As always, it is important to work through big topics like these in conversation with others. Seeking help, professionally or personally, is super encouraged on this journey toward a better understanding of yourself, your life, and the world around you!

Sam Hodge CT