Neurodiversity In Marriage

In recent years, the term "neurodivergence" has gained traction in conversations surrounding mental health and human diversity. While becoming a popular "buzzword" in our collective vernacular, it’s important to take a diagnosis seriously regarding how it impacts oneself and the relationships around them. As a couples therapist, I’ve seen how neurodivergence does not just impact the person that is diagnosed, but rather the entire family system and marriage relationship. 

What is Neurodiversity?  

Clinical neurodivergence refers to conditions such as autism spectrum disorder (ASD), attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), dyslexia, and others that may require specialized support and intervention.

While its increased visibility is undoubtedly a step in the right direction towards promoting acceptance and inclusivity, it's essential to distinguish between the normal variations in human behavior and clinical neurodivergence. Clinical diagnoses are made based on specific criteria outlined in diagnostic manuals, such as the DSM-5 (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders) or ICD-10 (International Classification of Diseases).

Embracing Neurodiversity:

In embracing neurodiversity, we recognize that there is no one-size-fits-all model of neurotypicality. Rather than pathologizing differences, we celebrate them as valuable aspects of human diversity. By fostering an environment of acceptance and understanding, we can create space for individuals to thrive authentically, embracing their strengths and overcoming challenges with support and accommodation.

Neurodiversity celebrates the inherent diversity of human brains and minds. Let’s not forget that Neurodivergence can also be a strength - these are the minds that change the world!!

Navigating Clinician Neurodivergence :

As a marriage therapist, I sometimes see neurodiverse partners (one or both) within the marriage; this presents unique challenges in the marriage. A lot of the time this impacts the individual's quality of life and ability to function in various domains, such as social interactions, academic or occupational performance, and emotional well-being. 

So as someone navigates discussions surrounding neurodivergence, it's crucial to approach the topic with empathy, compassion, and a commitment to promoting understanding and support. Make sure you seek help and support for the entire system, not just for the person diagnosed!

A Resource Neurodivergence In Marriage: 

When working with couples I always recommend  “The ADHD Effect on Marriage:” by Melissa Orlov. 

This book guides couples in marriage towards an understanding and appreciation for the struggles and triumphs of a relationship affected by ADHD, and to look at the disorder in a more positive and less disruptive way. It also includes worksheets and practical methods for difficult conversations so that couples can find a technique that fits their unique relationship and improve their communication skills.